And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
