I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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