just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
where are my eyebrows?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
