Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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