she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
