Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
