i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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