I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
