**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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