Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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