Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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