i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
