How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
