Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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