What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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