That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
