wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
