I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
