Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
