found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
