He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
