hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel like death gave me a hand job
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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