i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
