i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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