Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
