Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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