what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
