she smelled like a LAN party
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
