If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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