doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
