It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
