I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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