its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
