I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am midnight drunk by noon
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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