It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
