OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
