i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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