your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
