He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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