your parents love me but you hate me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I am one with the molecules
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
