shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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