Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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