Christians are straight up FREAKS
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Someone shattered a urinal.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
