Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
nutella sex= disaster
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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