hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
