I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
