Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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