the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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