just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
