I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
