I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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